Who Should You Take to the Game? Part 2

(Steve Neimand)


By: Greg Payne

Let me say that Part 1 can be erased in one truly unique, utterly extraordinary, nearly impossible (like threatening to challenge everything we know as a human race) scenario: Your girl is actually a legitimate, hard core Celtics fan.

Certainly there must be qualifications and the most obvious has to be that she has to be able to name five players on the roster, as well as their colleges/high schools who are not named: Pierce, Allen, Garnett or Rondo.
Side Note: Girls LOVE Rondo. Did you hear that, Rajon? Girls LOVE you! Ask any attractive girl who her favorite Celtics player is and she will say Rajon Rondo. The following is an actual quote from a female friend of mine during our senior year of high school:

"I love Rondo. He's got great arms."

Case in point.

Anyway, I only say that the above is such a significant scenario because we as hardcore male Celtics fans would do next to anything to meet a woman who understands how much this team actually means to us. And since there's no such thing as the perfect woman, well, the above stands. Until proven wrong.

Side Note to all female readers: We WANT to be proven wrong!

So when CAN you take a girl to the game?

The three scenarios from part 1 are off limits. BUT, the perfect situation for a hot date still stands:

The Close, But No Cigar Scenario: Is defeat possible? Sure. Is it likely? Meh, not really. The top tier teams might be off limits, but the second level of competition is your ticket to success.

So, this season, bring her to a Wizards, Heat, Hawks, Bulls, Mavericks, Hornets or Jazz game and you're good to go. You'll have a great time because you as the true fan can appreciate the talent of these "almost contenders", while she can enjoy the still competitive atmosphere, as Pierce and co. will still have to play in the fourth quarter to secure the victory. The C's will pretty much close up shop in all these games with about three minutes left, but the first 45 minutes will be great and in the final three minutes you can both lounge back and briefly reflect on how much fun you actually had.

And there are obvious subplots you could meander through while watching any of these games.

If the Wizards are in town you could discuss any of Gilbert Arenas' interesting habits off of the basketball court or how Antawn Jamison and Vince Carter are related.

If it's the Heat, you can simply point to Dwyane Wade and mention his performance in the 2006 NBA Finals, or how clutch he was off the bench in the World Championships/Olympics, or how he was one of People's 50 Most Beautiful People (lead with this one).

If the Hawks are around, simply explain to her why everyone boos Mike Bibby whenever he touches the basketball and how we ALMOST didn't make it out of the first round two years ago...

If it's the Bulls, you can just mention how we managed to turn a seven-game playoff series last year into roughly a ten-game affair with all of those extra overtimes. Then there's the Rondo-Derrick Rose matchup that she needs to be aware of.

So on and so forth. You get the idea.

Then there's the Right Place at the Right Time scenario: When do you want to take her? Should it be the first month of the season or the last month? In my estimation, late November/early December and late March/early April are your best options when it comes to NBA basketball.

In November/December your team is still searching for a quality start and will be playing hard trying to discover its "identity". You're pretty much guaranteed a solid performance unless they are way off on "who they want to be".

Avoid January through early March games due to potentially hazardous weather. If the date could be awkward and you're relying on the game to break the initial tension, the worst possible situation you can find yourself in is stuck in a cab in a Boston blizzard attempting to make it to the Garden. You've essentially worn out the lines of communication with the girl and are now pleading with/hollering at your cab driver just to make it before tipoff because you want to see KG scream in the opening video.

BUT, if you find your team fighting for the top of the Division/Conference and you head to the Garden in late March/early April when the regular season is winding down, you're essentially promised a high octane atmosphere because that's the point where you really start to stare a little harder at the standings and want to lock up first place as soon as possible, in order to sit the stars down for a few games late in April.

Now, where do playoff games come into this? Can she be allowed at any playoff games? Why, yes she can.

If ever a situation like two seasons ago occurs again, the first round is completely and totally up for grabs. Let's be honest, no one expected the Celtics and Hawks to go seven games. Not when Cleveland and Detroit were still lurking. If you have playoff tickets to as many rounds as it goes, save the second and third rounds for the fellas and bring your significant other to the round that's basically considered safe. It's full proof. UNLESS, it somehow goes Game 7. Then you immediately need to call in the closer (a.k.a. the guys) as opposed to the typically reliable set up guy, who's still developing and could potentially falter when the pressure starts to mount (the girl).

But the bottom line is just to have a good time. Whether it's with the guys or with the girl, it's still the Celtics. And in the end, that's all that matters.

Stay Tuned.